Why Parents Drink
 
A 
father passing by his son's bedroom was 
astonished to see that his bed was nicely made 
and everything was picked up. Then he saw 
an
Envelope, propped up prominently on the 
pillow that was addressed to 
'Dad.' 

With the worst premonition 
he opened the envelope
with 
trembling hands and read the 
letter. 


Dear 
Dad: 

It is with great regret and 
sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with 
my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a 
scene with Mom and you. 

I have been 
finding real passion with Stacy and she is so 
nice. 

But I knew you would not 
approve of her because of all her piercing, 
tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact 
that she is much older than I am. But it' s not 
only the passion...Dad she's 
pregnant. 

Stacy said that we will 
be very happy. 

She owns a trailer 
in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the 
whole winter. We share a dream of having many 
more children. 

Stacy has opened my 
eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really 
hurt anyone. 
We'll be growing it for 
ourselves and trading it with the other people 
that live nearby for cocaine and 
ecstasy. 

In the meantime we will 
pray that science will find a cure for AIDS 
so
Stacy 
can get better. She deserves 
it. 

Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I 
know how to take care of 
myself. 

Someday I'm sure that we 
will be back to visit so that you 
can
get 
to know your 
grandchildren. 


Love, 
Your Son John 


PS. 
Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at 
Tommy's house. 


I 
Just wanted to remind you that there are worse 
things in life than a Report card That's in 
my center desk drawer.. 

I 
love you. 

Call 
me when it's safe to come home